


Sunlight

by InabaCube



Category: Persona 4, Persona Series
Genre: Hinted Depression, Hurt/Comfort, Idiots in Love, M/M, Nanako and Souji are siblings, Ryotaro Dojima is a good dad, bless the Dojimas, hinted panic attack, really its a confession fic with angst because its me, references of child neglect, they really are idiots dont be fooled
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-10
Updated: 2020-11-10
Packaged: 2021-03-09 00:34:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,973
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27485839
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InabaCube/pseuds/InabaCube
Summary: The more Souji thought of it the more it made sense. Their playful banter and the way they depended on each other for support. It seems so obvious now. Just like how a guitar needs its strings to produce sound.He wasn't ready for the rejection.
Relationships: Hanamura Yosuke/Narukami Yu, Hanamura Yosuke/Seta Souji
Comments: 6
Kudos: 78





	Sunlight

Souji knew he had a crush on Yosuke when he was first teaching him to play the bass.

Of course Souji had… moments of these feelings towards his partner, but he’s never been sure. There were always moments when doubt plagued his mind directly after the thought would cross his mind. 

But here and now? Nothing.

Yosuke was slowly taking him through learning different cords and Souji was catching on quickly. It reminded him easily enough of the piano the only real difficulty he had was keeping his fingers correctly angled. 

Soon enough the two were playing their parts a few beats slower than normal tempo.

“ You’ve picked up on this really quick, partner,” Yosuke said as he played. “Honestly! I’m really impressed! It took me a while to figure out how the cords work, but you’re doing it like it's nothing!”

Souji smiled at Yosuke softly and looked back to his sheet music. Rise was right- it’s not too hard at all and he felt ready to bring it up to normal tempo. 

Yosuke held up his hand easily and the two stopped playing. Souji smiled wide as Yosuke leaned forward and narrowed his eyes at him.

“ For real!! How did you catch on so fast?” Yosuke asked accusingly, “you’ve played bass before haven’t you.”

Souji laughed lightly as he shook his head, “No actually I haven’t. I have played piano though. When I was little to about.. maybe in the middle of my first year of high school I played piano regularly.” 

Yosuke blinked in surprise, “how did that mix with moving? You moved a lot right?”

Souji nodded solemnly, “yeah. It was.. difficult.” Souji looked thoughtful for a while, “when.. about when I was 10 my parents started being gone for longer amounts of time so other than school I had very little to do. My mom had a smaller piano that she brought with us when we moved. I’d often go to whatever school’s music room and ask for some piano sheet music or if there was a music store nearby I’d go there.”

While Souji explained Yosuke stared at his guitar and once Souji was done he said softly, “I’m glad they kicked you out here.”

Souji looked confused at his statement, “what?”

“Instead of leaving you just.. in a random apartment for a year.” Yosuke says his face growing redder, “I mean you know! It can’t be good for a kid!”

Souji chuckled, “I can’t say it’s the best environment to grow up in.”

The silence grew between them as Souji watched Yosuke fiddle with his guitar nervously. Souji felt, despite the darker conversation topic, at peace here. There was something about Yosuke that allowed Souji to relax. Souji smiled to himself, it was probably the fact that Souji could trip a thousand times and Yosuke would just smile and help him back up without fail.

The silence didn’t last long. Yosuke soon perked right back up and got the two of them playing again. 

Yes, Souji would miss him the most when he left. If the fluttering of his heart was anything to go by.

The days passed quickly and with the concert coming ever closer everyone was nervous. The group had practiced for hours after school, and after getting four runs with near perfect sound they quit for the day. Souji enjoyed listening to everyone’s excited chatter as they packed up. He declined walking home with his friends with an explanation that he was struggling on a chord that he wanted to get right. After many promises to not push himself so hard his friends left.

Well, all except one.

Yosuke pulled up a chair and sat beside him, “what chord, partner?” He asked looking over his sheet music, “I don’t think I heard anything that really sounded off…”

Souji shrugged lightly, “just wanted more time with the bass before returning it all. Uncle Dojima had a rare day off and I wanna give him and Nanako time together too so...”

Yosuke flashed him a smile, “mind if I join you then? We can have a competition! See who can go the longest without messing up! Loser buys the other dinner?”

Souji smiled, “you’re on, partner.”

The two played for another two hours. They smiled and laughed and playfully teased the other about being better than the other.

Eventually Yosuke won.

The two walked to Junes with the sun setting behind them and the trees rustling in the wind. 

Yosuke spoke vibrantly about what he wanted to eat and how much he had practiced on the piece. The sun hit his face just right so that his eyes shined.

Souji fell in love.

The realization hit him like a crashing wave. Who would have thought his partner would have single mindedly stole his heart so thoroughly? The more Souji thought of it the more it made sense. Their playful banter and the way they depended on each other for support. It seems so obvious now. Just like how a guitar needs its strings to produce sound.

He wasn’t ready for the rejection. 

The crushing realization that Yosuke isn’t gay and that he quite adamantly refused Souji and his feelings. It’s a stark contrast to the bright day walking home from school.

A chill hurries itself deep in Souji’s heart.

No one noticed a change between the two. Yosuke still acted how he always did. Smart and dependable and amazingly beautiful.

It was when they were alone things got noticeable. They didn’t sit as close together as they used to. Their banter no longer existed and their chemistry is all but gone. 

Souji wanted to tear his hair out. He wanted to scream and cry and yell and punch something and he wanted.. he wanted…

He wanted his partner back.

It went on like this through the winter months. This silence between them. This gap that was too far for any sane man to jump. 

Then November happened.

They saved Nanako as fast as they could but it wasn’t fast enough. Souji spent many nights alone. If he let himself space out for long enough he would be back in an empty apartment in Tokyo.

He didn’t sleep well.

Nanako and Dojima recovered and Adachi was found guilty and put behind bars.

All a rush of months and months and Souji was so happy it was over. The burden of the year was finally lifted off his shoulders and he couldn’t be more grateful. 

Then Izanami-no-Okami appeared before them.

The battle was rough and dark and horribly painful. They attacked with all they had and she took so much of it. The exhaustion ran through the veins of the investigation team as they were taken out one by one in their leader’s stead. 

“Partner!” Yosuke cried as he shoved Souji out of the way, “watch out!”

Souji watched as his best friend and first love was pulled under by red and black appendages. He was the last one left. 

He dropped his katana, clutched his hair, and screamed.

The false life Izanami would have allowed him to live was too good to be true. Everything was too perfect. Everyone was happy and healthy and Souji never had to leave Inaba. Yosuke was his partner again without the awkwardness of love and he was so tempted to give in, but then he knew how much they would have hated him.

He knew how much more he would have hated himself. 

He stood up against Izanami-no-Okami and summoned all the strength his friends and his new family had given him.

He awakened to Izanagi-No-Okami and he brought Izanami to her knees with one attack.

Leaving Inaba behind was hard. He genuinely loved it there and he loved the people with all his heart. He would be back, but for now he has to go.

It was hard to step onto the train after his friends heartfelt goodbyes, and Yosuke’s soft “later, partner.”, but he did it. 

He walked into an empty apartment and met his parents again a week later.

His final year of high school was fine if not a little lonely. At the insistence of his parents he didn’t visit Inaba for golden week and instead had used that time to study for exams. He played the piano here and there but it didn’t sound the same as he remembered, so eventually he stopped all together. 

This particular winter was a cold one with snow coming in early and the temperature dropping much faster than the previous years. 

Souji had been walking back home from school when he got caught in heavy winds and harsh snowfall so he quickly dipped into a small diner. 

The diner was fairly small but it was warm and smelled wonderful. The tables had white cloths over them with a winter pattern and the booths had Christmas lights hanging from their backs. The cashier waved him over and pointed to the menu which had a bunch of holiday themed drinks and snacks. 

Souji ordered whatever looked good and took a seat in one of the farther away booths. While looking around he spied that the entire diner was lit up by white colored holiday lights that hung from the ceiling of the diner.

Yosuke would have loved it here. He always had always enjoyed finding the cozy corners of the world.

His food and drink were delivered and he nodded his thanks. The cashier smiled and bowed and walked back behind the counter without a word. 

It had been a long year, Souji reminisced. He missed his friends dearly and he felt pangs of sadness and misery deep within his heart. He hated how things ended with Yosuke. He hated how he only ever talked to his friends on a rare occasion. He hated how he had to deny his uncle every opportunity he gave Souji to see them again. 

Once the snow started to fall without the intent to bury all of Japan Souji left the diner. The streets were quiet with people walking quickly and with purpose. 

If Souji cared more at the time he would have noticed how beautiful it was that night.

When he got home he quickly turned on a hot bath and got in. He dozed for a minute or two and finally decided to wash himself down.

Quick and meticulous. 

Souji let out a pitiful laugh, a good summary of his year.

He had to decline his uncle’s offer to stay over winter break and he heard Nanako crying in the background. 

He hung up on his uncle and went to sleep.

It was two days later when he heard a knock at the door. Souji softly groaned and crawled out of bed. It was a cold morning and he had every intention of staying inside and sleeping until school started back up, but apparently this person had different plans for him.

After a quick trip to the restroom to put on his contacts, Souji opened the apartment door and was stunned to see his very tired looking uncle and an ecstatic Nanako.

“Big bro!” Nanako cried and jumped onto the grey haired teen. 

Souji quickly caught her and pulled her into a tight hug. “Na-Nanako? Uncle dojima? I don’t understand.” He looked up to his uncle and felt the sting of tears forming in his eyes, “ I don’t understand-“

His uncle smiled at his nephew and said, “well I had a very long conversation with your mother.” 

Souji cringed and nodded and allowed the two inside the apartment. He quickly prepared tea for the three of them and set them on the small kotatsu in the living room. 

“I’m sorry I don’t have more cushions.” Souji says as he sits across his uncle, “I don’t usually have people coming over very often.”

The look on his uncle’s face is unreadable as he takes a sip of his tea. Nanako is silent on his left.

Souji felt strangely tense among the two. He feels like whatever they are going to say he will not be able to refuse. 

“ I want to start this off by telling you that i am not angry at you,” his uncle says gently as he sets his cup of tea on the table. “I talked with my sister and I have realized more things are going on than I was aware of.”

Souji swallowed hard and stared deeply at his uncle’s cup of tea.

“Souji how long have you been alone in this apartment? When was the last time you saw your parents?” His uncle says, “probably not since late November right?”

Souji nodded and bit his lip. 

“Souji. Kid.” Dojima sighs softly, “listen. I want to take you home for a little while okay? We will lock this place up and hide anything important and I’m gonna take you home to Inaba okay? Just until winter break is over. You won’t have to worry about missing school and you need a break from studying from exams.”

Nanako grabbed his hand gently and he looked at her. Nanako smiles brightly and exclaimed, “it’ll be fun, big bro!! Do you think we could build a snowman again? Daddy will be more involved now that he’s feeling better!”

Dojima watched his two kids converse before getting up and walking into the room he assumed to be Souji’s. Dojima looked around the barren room and almost walked out when he caught a photo of Souji’s friends hanging up above the messy bed. The detective found himself shocked, while Souji was far from messy his room seemed almost robotic in the way it was kept. The only thing remotely showing signs of life was his small desk and his bed. Looking closer at his desk, Dojima saw the portrait of him and the kids at the Samegawa he framed for Souji. 

The detective found Souji’s duffle bag and began to pack necessities for his nephew. 

Of course Souji could say “no” but he wouldn’t be able to say it without a fight, and Dojima was too happy to see his kid again to fight with him. He knows Souji needs to get away too. He hasn't spoken to Souji in a while, but If the bags under Souji’s eyes and his mussed up hair were anything to go by he wasn’t doing well.

Dojima walked out with Souji’s dufflebag to see the two kids on the couch. Nanako and Souji were sitting close and talking to each other quietly. Nanako was as bright as ever and it must have rubbed off on the older sibling because even in Souji’s exhausted state his warm smile showed in his eyes as he watched her.

Dojima smiled at the scene and no matter how much he didn’t want to interrupt them- they were going to be late. “Alright you two,” Dojima said as he walked into the living room. “Let’s get to the station before we miss our train back alright?”

Souji looked shocked, “you booked same day trains?”

Nanako smiled, “yeah! We have to get you home as soon as possible, big bro!”

Souji looked to dojima who gave a confirming nod and readjusted his grip on his bag. 

“Let’s go home, Souji.”

When the trio got home Nanako was asleep and Dojima fumbled for a while to get the house key into the lock on the front door. Souji was holding Nanako and was smiling at his uncle’s frustrations. 

The night was quiet and the snow covered the ground. Surprisingly, it was warmer out here than it was in Tokyo. Souji wondered if that was why the cold seemed so harsh in Tokyo. 

Both Souji and Dojima let out a quiet cheer when he got the door open. 

Souji took Nanako’s shoes off and tucked her into her futon. He smiled when she reached for him again. 

“I’ll be here when you wake. I won’t be going to Tokyo for a little while longer, ok?” Souji says soothingly, “I’ll make breakfast in the morning so go to sleep okay?”

Nanako nodded and curled up in her futon with a content smile.

Souji left her room silently and slid the door shut and after saying a quiet goodnight to his already asleep uncle, he walked into his old room. 

His room looked the same as he left it. The figures on display, the calendar, the couch, table, tv, desk, and his futon. It also smelled very clean, and from the looks of things everything had been wiped down. His futon was also unrolled and inviting. 

Souji sat down on his couch to unpack. He grabbed his contact case and placed his contacts inside, and after he pulled on his sleep clothes. 

With a yawn he turned off his light and crawled into his futon.

Souji woke up fairly late into the morning. He laid around dozing for a while before he made himself get up. He rubbed his eyes, put his contacts in, and changed into a warm sweater with a pair of jeans and black socks. 

When he walked down the stairs he was met with silence and he smiled softly to himself. He took his phone and earbuds out of his pocket and chose a song that was easy to listen to while he checked the refrigerator. There was actually a decent amount of food items, but he settled for simple omelettes with cheese and a little bit of ham.

He cut the pieces of ham up into small squares and put it in the pan alongside the egg mix. He was getting ready to flip the omelette over when he looked over his shoulder at the sound of his uncle walking down the stairs. 

They smiled at each other and Dojima gave Souji a pat on his shoulder as he leaned over to grab the 3 mugs. He began to make coffee as Souji flipped the omelette. 

“You plan to visit your friends?” His uncle asked as he poured sugar and cream into Nanako’s cup, “I know Shirogane-kun left a little while ago.”

Souji folded the omelette and placed it on one of the three plates and pulled out his earbud from his left ear. “I do plan to see them, but I.. haven't exactly told anyone I was coming home. It was so late and I didnt wanna bother anyone.”

Dojima hummed as he stirred Nanako’s coffee, “It was sort of spur of the moment. I would apologize, but I’m not really sorry.”

Souji smiled and poured more egg mix, cheese, and ham into the pan. “It's alright. Besides I'm not sure who I would tell first to be honest. Chie is probably still asleep and Yukiko is most likely working the morning shift for parent’s inn.”

“ And Yosuke? You two spent so much time together last year I was surprised I didn’t hear him when I woke up.” Dojima continues thoughtfully, “Now that I think about it.. I did see him much after Nanako and I left the hospital.”

Souji bit his lip and smiled. So much for an easy conversation. 

“I haven't talked to him much either, not since October.” Souji shrugged wistfully, “after everything that happened we just..”  _ grew apart. I messed up and told him I loved him. I told him that all I would ever need is his support and approval. _

“Listen, Souji. I'll only tell you this once. It's something Chisato told me when we first married,” Dojima says as he sets down the spoon.

Souji placed another omelette on a second plate and looked at his uncle with a confused expression.

“Chisato… Chisato once told me that when she asked me out- yes, _she_ _asked me -_ dont look so shocked!” Dojima chuckles, “anyway, when she asked me out she thought I was going to say no. All things considered there was no way I was going to with how much time we spent working together and supporting each other..” Dojima smiles and shakes his head, “again, not the point. What I mean to say is what she told me after all of that. I don't remember it word for word, but her point was that If she had never took the chance she wouldn't have been there with me then.”

As far as pep talks go it wasn’t too terrible- especially for his uncle. 

Souji knew what his uncle was trying to tell him and he knew he probably learned that he confessed to Yosuke from Nanako who was there that evening when he got home. 

It all seems so long ago. 

He still loves Yosuke, but does Yosuke even consider himself Souji’s friend anymore? 

The least he could do is text him and let him know he will be in Inaba for the rest of the break and take it from there.

He took out his phone and sent his partner a text and looked up to see his uncle giving him a knowing smile. 

They agreed to meet up at the Samegawa two days later. Yosuke was swamped at work because of the fast approaching holiday and Souji needed more time to get his thoughts together. 

A year isn't long enough for him, apparently. 

Souji stopped walking when he saw Yosuke at the side of the riverbank. His partner was in his blue hoodie, jeans, and his black shoes. He really is a sight for sore eyes. 

The day was beautiful too with the clouds parting to reveal a wonderfully warm sun which combatted the chilly weather from the previous days. 

Yosuke would be standing in the sun’s light just like that perfect day they walked home from school. 

Souji suddenly feels nervous. What if nothing has changed? If somehow things had gotten worse? What if Yosuke only agreed to meet him here to call things off?

He suddenly wanted to turn around and run home, but his uncle wouldn’t be happy after he tried to help him. 

Souji took a deep breath, gathered all his courage, and with Izanagi-no-okami buzzing in his heart he walked down the stairs and greeted his partner.

Except that he has no idea what to say, so he stood there with his hand held up in greeting with no words coming out of his mouth.

Yosuke smiled at him looking confused and raised his own hand in greeting.

The two stood there staring at each other for a while. The awkwardness set in quick as the silence went on.

Souji bit his lip and tried to still his shaking hands. Anything would be better than this, so he decided to say the first thing that came to his mind.

“Souji I-”

“Yosuke-”

The two boys looked at each other and let out their own nervous laughs.

Souji decided to stay quiet and let Yosuke talk.

After a moment Yosuke looked at Souji again as he cleared his throat, “ Souji I.. like you. Ever since the first day I met you I just… just didn't know what I was feeling. I didn't know how to say it.” Yosuke confesses, “ When you told me… you loved me I realized what that feeling was, but ever since I rejected your feelings you felt so distant. I could tell I hurt you, partner.”

Souji could hear his heartbeat in his ears and he could feel his eyes widening as he listened to Yosuke. Youske liked him? Since the day they met? Yosuke… Yosuke liked him and he was oblivious to it? This whole time?  _ He _ was the one who pushed Yosuke away? Souji blinked as he tried to come to terms with it all. He felt like he couldn’t breathe. 

Yosuke likes him.

When he focuses again Yosuke is in front of him with his hands on his shoulders, “Partner? Partner, are you ok?”

Souji smiles, “Yeah. Yeah I’m okay.”

**Author's Note:**

> I have never been in love. Is it obvious? I do plan for a "sequel" of sorts.  
> my first fic! I hope you enjoyed.  
> any constructive criticism is welcome with open arms :)


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